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Are You Present With Your Children?-> Your Child & You #047
February 17, 2012
Child Development Guide Newsletter --> Your Child & You #047
"The Web's Most Popular Parenting Tips Newsletter"
In this issue we'll discuss...
1) Are You Present With Your Children?
2) Quote Of The Day
One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is to be fully present with them. This can often be a big challenge.
You might be busy with your daily life but the only way you could be fully present when you are with your children is to set aside "time alone" with them.
"Time alone" is daily quality time you spend with each of your children, doing whatever they wanted to do. During this time do not answer the phone or deal with the many issues of running a household.
It is time set aside to be fully present with them, not even thinking about other things.
The message you give to your children when you don't spend quality time being fully present is that they are not important.
When answering the phone, or getting things done, or thinking about what you have to do tomorrow is more important than being present with your children, they get the message that being with them and really knowing them is not very important to you.
If it is not important to you to just be with your children – talking with them, playing with them, taking a walk, holding them, listening to them, sharing love with them, gazing at them with love – then they will likely not feel loved by you.
No matter how many things you buy them, or how often you tell them you love them, if they are not important enough to you to REALLY be with them, then it is likely they will not feel loved and cherished by you.
Your children need your focused attention, and when they don't get it, they may pull for it in various ways. They may chatter on and on, trying to keep your attention.
They may act out by fighting with each other, or by not listening to you or going into resistance regarding chores, homework, hygiene, bedtime, and so on.
For many children, even negative attention feels better than no attention. This may create a very negative vicious circle, in that the more they act out, the less you feel like being with them, but the less you are with them in a loving and attentive way, the more they may act out.
Think about how you feel when someone gives you his or her full attention. Doesn't it feel wonderful? How often does someone look you in the eyes and give you his or her full attention? How often do you feel really listened to and heard by someone?
Unfortunately, many people are so intent on being listened to and heard that they don't listen and hear.
The simple act of being fully present with your children will do more for them than you can imagine.
You have an opportunity to give your children a great gift - being fully present with them with your love, compassion, empathy, interest, sense of humor, playfulness, and affection.
You have the opportunity each day, even if it is just for half an hour, to fully cherish them.
They grow up so fast. Don't miss this opportunity each day.
That's it for today.
Helping You Raise A Happy Child,
* How To Empower Your Child To Succeed
* How To Reduce Tantrums, Freak-outs And Outbursts
* How To Stimulate Your Child's Imagination, Creativity And Intellect
* How To Boost Your Child's Confidence With Positive Reinforcements
* How To Handle Your Own Angry Outbursts And Enjoy Being A Parent Again.
3) Quote Of The Day
"You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers"
~ John Plomp
About the Author
Daniel Dwase is the editor of http://www.Child-Development-Guide.com. He is a father of one. His free weekly newsletter goes out to thousands of parents worldwide and provides the latest parenting tips, strategies, techniques and instruction on how to become a better and informed parent.
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